BLERD WITH A BOOK
The former Nickelodeon star-turned-filmmaker weaves an uncomfortable, sad, and darkly humorous tale out of her complicated relationship with her abusive, overbearing mother and her dark experiences with child stardom.
TITLE: I'm Glad My Mom Died
AUTHOR: Jennette McCurdy PUBLISHER & YEAR: Simon & Schuster 2022 PAGES: 304 GENRE: Memoir SUMMARY: Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first audition. Her mother's dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called "calorie restriction," eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, "Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn't tint hers?" She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income. In this darkly funny and deeply heartbreaking memoir, the former child actor recounts her complicated relationship with her mother in unflinching detail -- just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, Jennette is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi ("Hi, Gale!"), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest itself into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. Her hardships only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spin-off Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time what she really wants. HOW DID I GET THIS BOOK?: Purchased FORMAT: Hardcover CONTENT WARNING
For readers interested in purchasing a copy of I'm Glad My Mom Died, please be aware that this book can be very triggering, especially if you are struggling with past traumas related to eating disorders, addition, ill mental health, parental abuse, sexual grooming and child abuse, and codependency. I highly recommend that you look up the trigger warnings for this book before deciding to purchase a copy.
Additionally, this edition of Blerd Reads will contain discussions of such subjects, how they're rendered in the book, and how it resonated personally with me. If these topics are triggering for you, please take the appropriate precautions before reading, and, if one of those precautions is skipping this post, I understand. You matter. Your mental health matters. You are allowed to prioritize yourself.
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What does it mean to be Black and a man in a culture increasingly uncertain about masculinity? TITLE: Patriarchy Blues: Reflections on Manhood
AUTHOR: Frederick Joseph PUBLISHER & YEAR: Harper Perennial 2022 PAGES: 254 GENRE: Social Sciences/Essays SUMMARY: What does it mean to be a man today? How does the pervasive yet elusive idea of "toxic masculinity" actually reflect men's experiences -- particularly those of color -- and how they navigate the world? Author Frederick Joseph contemplates these questions in a provocative, thought-provoking collection of essays, poetry, short reflections, and cultural commentary pieces that explores the issue of masculinity and patriarchy from both a personal and cultural standpoint. STAND ALONE OR SERIES?: Stand alone HOW DID I GET THIS BOOK?: Purchased FORMAT: Paperback Author, journalist, and Star Trek geek Ryan Britt chronicles the five-plus decades history of a sci-fi juggernaut that continues to boldly go where no one has gone before. TITLE: Phasers on Stun! How the Making (and Remaking) of Star Trek Changed the World
AUTHOR: Ryan Britt PUBLISHER: Plume PUBLISHING DATE: May 31st, 2022 PAGES: 383 GENRE: Performing Arts - Television - History & Criticism SUMMARY: Featuring more than one hundred exclusive interviews with William Shatner, Walter Koenig, LeVar Burton, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Sonequa Martin-Green, Jeri Ryan, Ethan Peck, Wilson Cruz, and more, author and lifelong Star Trek fan Ryan Britt charts a fun and accessible course through the Star Trek franchise's five-plus decades-long history: from its tumultuous origins in the 1960s, to its influence on diversifying NASA, to its attempts at meaningful LGBTQ+ representation. Britt offers Trekkies and non-Trekkies alike an immersive, approachable, and fascinating look into all things Trek -- including Spock's evolution to unlikely sci-fi icon; the near failure to launch The Next Generation, and the history of Trekkie outrage. STAND ALONE OR SERIES?: Stand alone HOW DID I GET THIS BOOK?: Purchased FORMAT: Hardcover Hiya! I hope you're keeping safe and healthy. Like everyone else, I am still at home, but because it's autumn, I'm almost finished with my first virtual school quarter (which is why I haven't been active all that much). So, as school begins to wind down, I'll be continuing with my established mental health routine of comfort reading-- on my downtime, of course-- and writing about those comfort books on here. TITLE: My Life on the Road AUTHOR: Gloria Steinem PUBLISHER & DATE: Random House 2016 (originally published in Hardcover in 2015) PAGES: 284 GENRE: Memoir; Feminism BRIEF SUMMARY: Legendary activist, feminist, and itinerant organizer Gloria Steinem shares her story of personal growth and how it dovetailed with the growth of a revolutionary movement for equality-- and how a lifetime spent on the road, complete with surprising encounters with a robust cast of characters, from literary figures to total strangers, that yielded unexpected but profound truths, shaped both. CONTENT WARNING:
The following edition of STAY-AT-HOME READS contains mentions of racism, bigotry, sexism, reproductive choice, abortion, among other sensitive topics. Moreover, this post also contains some dialogue on Election Week 2020 and how it affected my mental health. If any of these topics trigger you, please take the appropriate precautions before reading. In addition, if you or someone you know is struggling mentally and emotionally, please visit Half of Us.com, call SAMHSA's National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357), or visit SAMHSA.org for more assistance and resources. STAY-AT-HOME READS #2: Hood Feminism: Notes From the Women That a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall9/20/2020 Hello everybody! I hope you are all keeping safe and healthy. Like most of you, I am at home (leaving only to do essential shopping and/or go for safe walks) and trying to think of ways to bide the time until it is officially safer to go outside again. So, I figured that since I have a growing stack of books in my bedroom (some have been read, but most of them have not), I'll just get to reading. With that in mind, I'll start posting about my stay-at-home reads as a way to motivate myself to keep writing and reading-- and, most importantly, to share with you the books and genres I've been digging into at home. TITLE: Hood Feminism: Notes From the Women That a Movement Forgot AUTHOR: Mikki Kendall PUBLISHER & DATE: Viking Books 2020 PAGES: 267 GENRE: Social Sciences; African-American Studies; Feminism Brief Summary: Today's mainstream feminist movement has a glaring blind spot and, paradoxically, it's women. Prominent white feminists rarely discuss meeting basic needs-- from food security and access to quality education to living wages and safe neighborhoods-- as a feminist issue, instead focusing on turning more women into CEOs and calling for one-sided solidarity that forces those living on the margins, from BIPOC women and the disabled to trans sex workers and folks struggling through poverty, to keep showing up for white feminism while white feminists continuously fail, and even oppress, the marginalized. Author Mikki Kendall asks a long-pressing question in need of an answer: How can women stand in solidarity as a movement when there is the distinct likelihood that some women are oppressing others? CONTENT WARNING:
The following post contains mentions/discussions of racism, rape culture, misogyny, and feminism, among other topics, some readers may find offensive or problematic. If these topics trigger you, please take the appropriate precautions prior to reading. If you'd rather skip this post entirely, I completely understand. Do not feel bad for choosing to prioritize yourself and your well-being. Hello everybody! I hope you are all keeping safe and healthy. Like most of you, I am at home (leaving only to do essential shopping and/or go for safe walks) and trying to think of ways to bide the time until it is officially safer to go outside again. So, I figured that since I have a growing stack of books in my bedroom (some have been read, but most of them have not), I'll just get to reading. With that in mind, I'll start posting about my stay-at-home reads as a way to motivate myself to keep writing and reading-- and, most importantly, to share with you the books and genres I've been digging into at home. TITLE: The Shining AUTHOR: Stephen King PUBLISHER & DATE: Anchor Books 2013 (Originally Published in 1977 by Doubleday) PAGES: 659 GENRE: Horror Brief Summary: Jack Torrance's new job at the Overlook Hotel is the perfect chance for a fresh start. As the off-season caretaker at the atmospheric old hotel, he'll have plenty of time to spend reconnecting with his family and working on his writing. But as the harsh winter weather sets in, the idyllic location feels ever more remote-- and more sinister. And the only one to notice the strange and terrible forces gathering around the Overlook is Danny Torrance, a uniquely gifted five-year-old.
In light of recent events, public schools introducing more diverse, anti-racist texts into the curriculum is no longer that far-fetched idea. CONTENT WARNING: The following post contains mentions of anti-Black racism and violence in America. If this topic triggers you, please take the proper precautions before reading. "In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist, we must be anti-racist." Of all the quotes I'd seen shared on Instagram in the wake of the police killings of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and Tony McDade, it was the above quote from abolitionist and author Angela Y. Davis I'd seen across my feed. Now, sharing quotes from famous Black activists-- some of whom are far more radical (and anti-imperialist) than people either realize or want to accept-- isn't a new phenomenon. In fact, it has become a checkpoint in my mental-tracking of where we're at in the cycle of widely publicized anti-Black violence in America. Considering how often I and many other Black folks in America have experienced a traumatic week like the one of Floyd's murder, I've grown cynical to people's responses to these traumatic time loops on social media, considering the various platforms out there aren't necessarily known for balanced, nuanced, and civil discussions on... well... anything. But, Floyd's murder-- which occurred during a global health crisis that has taken far too many lives and disproportionately affected the Black and Latinx communities in America-- has led to some changes. The more the word "anti-racist" entered the ongoing conversations about anti-Black racism, American policing, and white supremacy, the more people are interested in learning more about what it means to be anti-racist. As a result, not only was the Davis quote frequently shared online but there was also a surge in anti-racism book sales, including the bestselling How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi. In her June 11th article for Vox, book critic Constance Grady noted that, at the time of the article's publishing, every one of the ten books on the New York Times' combined e-book and print nonfiction bestseller list that week was about anti-racism. Books like Kendi's and Robin DiAngelo's White Fragility sold out quickly, and author Brit Bennett's The Vanishing Half, a fiction novel about race and colorism in America, topped the Times' fiction list and went on to be a popular pick for many book clubs. While, yes, a conversation can be had about whether the soaring sales in anti-racism books truly signals a cultural shift (and about whether reading anti-racism books seem pointless if it doesn't yield any concrete systemic changes), I can't help but feel sort of hopeful. Not only might reading now be a part of some folks' quarantine self-care routine (I know it for me), but literature can potentially help them understand the very real, systemic injustices at work in American society. Most importantly, literature can empower readers to go on their own personal journeys, including that of anti-racism activism, if they choose to go down that route. While, yes, I do agree with those saying that buying anti-racist literature shouldn't replace the active work that desperately needs to be done, and I can understand why some critics feel that anti-racist literature can lack meaningful ways to guide people on combating institutionalized racism, I'd argue that anti-racist literature is written with the sole intent on educating people, and before any active anti-racist action can be taken, proper education is necessary. Despite it being 2020, some people still believe that race doesn't greatly affect our society. There are still some people who believe that, even after all the protests over Floyd's murder and greater calls for criminal justice reform or police abolition, racism isn't that big of a deal, even though the current global health crisis has exposed how racism has left communities of color-- including the Black, Latinx, and Indigenous communities-- at a grave disadvantage when compared to white Americans. A politician even called chattel slavery a "necessary evil" during a press conference. There are some who believe that the issue with American policing has nothing to do with racism. It is quite clear that many of us (myself included) are in need of genuine education on systemic racism and inequality in America, and no one is more cognizant of this than student activists. In mid June, the Diversify Our Narrative initiative was created by California college students who demanded that curriculum in the American public school system be reformed and expanded to highlight marginalized groups, including the Black community. On their website, the campaign states that they "believe in the power of the public school system to enact long-lasting, institutional change that will be instrumental in this fight for justice and equality." In light of recent events, the initiative has made it clear that comprehensive, anti-racist education that adequately addresses the prominent issues of race, racism, anti-Blackness in America their goal. But, because of how tricky major curriculum change is in the United States, Diversify Our Narrative has decided to start small: include more diverse and anti-racist texts in English and Literature classes in US schools. As the initiative's mission statement emphasizes, the inclusion of diverse and anti-racist texts in the classroom is the first step that needs to be taken so that young people can "fight to be anti-racist" and students and teachers alike can "encourage a productive dialogue on race and identity" among student bodies across the US. I'll admit, when I came across Diversify Our Narrative's Instagram page, I struggled to recall whether I read any diverse texts in my high school English and Literature classes. (In community college, I was introduced to more diverse texts but it was via my African-American History classes, not the English and Literature ones. Like high school, I'd been assigned texts from mostly white authors to read and study.) The only piece written by a Black writer that I read in high school was August Wilson's Fences, a play that focused on the evolving African American experience through the eyes of an aging former Negro baseball league player-- sandwiched between the likes of Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, and, of course, William Shakespeare on the AP Literature required reading list from senior year. What disturbed me the most about this was realizing how long it took for a Black author or a piece centering on Black characters to finally make the list. The last required book I'd read that featured a Black character was Harper Lee's 1960 classic To Kill a Mockingbird, and I had to read that in freshman year. TKAM remains one of my favorite books I'd read in high school but it is not without its issues, which Diversify Our Narrative broke down in one of their "debriefing" posts which either spotlighted works written by authors of color or focused on the flaws of major literary works featuring characters of color written by white authors. From its White Savior narrative to the one-dimensional portrayal of Tom Robinson, one of the novel's two major Black characters, TKAM is both a well-written novel and a reminder that representation in literature is incredibly important. A white author writing about people of color from a removed point of view just doesn't sit right with readers anymore, nor failing to write such characters with the level of depth, agency, and thoughtfulness usually reserved for their white counterparts. Unfortunately, at the time I read the book, challenging either the depiction of Tom Robinson or the book itself was out of the question. My teacher focused on assigning us the book and discussing the book enough so that her students were ready for the latest chapter test, but I don't fault her for that. She was simply following the lesson plan and, at that time, the idea of a diverse reading list or discussing books that featured negative depictions of characters of color probably never crossed her mind. Moreover, I never questioned the status quo back then. After all, I was the student, she was the teacher. If my teacher believed that assigning TKAM would prepare her students for college, then who was I to say she was wrong? However, months of nationwide Black Lives Matter protests have changed the accepted status quo. Now, students are encouraged to think more critically about the literature being taught to them and question how their assigned readings are preparing them for the next stage of their academic careers, as well as life after school. Exposure to a variety of perspectives instead of being limited to just one can help students deepen their well of empathy and open their minds toward experiencing different cultures, viewpoints, and ways of living. As a result, students and teachers are challenging their districts and school boards to establish a comprehensive, anti-racism curriculum, and the best way for that to be accomplished is by making more diverse texts required reading, whether it be anti-racism books (e.g. How to Be an Anti-Racist and Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates) or narrative fiction written by authors of color and featuring major characters of color written with depth, agency, and thoughtfulness. (e.g. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas and The House on Mango Street by Sandra Ciseneros) Not only are activists calling for greater criminal justice reform, but they're also calling for more people to learn about the roots of racism in American society and how they breed systemic inequality on the economic, political, and social levels, and less resistance to those who aim to teach it or discuss it. If the 48,000+ signatures on the petitions on Diversify Our Narrative's website is anything to go by, students and teachers are pushing for anti-racism education to go beyond the realm of possibility and make it into a reality. After all, knowledge is power, and with the kind of knowledge diverse, anti-racist literature may supply, it can lead to opportunities where students and teachers can work together to discuss and consider long-term, concrete solutions that could remedy systemic racism and inequality through active anti-racist activism. It's clear that many believe anti-racism books hold the key to knowledge people will not-- and cannot-- get elsewhere and they should be brought into the classroom because, while every human being is in the process of learning and growing throughout their lives, this education should not be sparked by the death of yet another an unarmed Black American. In fact, this education could-- and should-- start right in the classroom, but such a change isn't without fear or outright opposition. I already mentioned the politician at the press conference, but the opposition I fear most is from other teachers. In her essay for Rich In Color, a book website that spotlights diverse young adult literature, teacher K. Imani Tennyson wrote about how one tweet about the heavy influence of "classic" (read: white) literature on academia was hurting both curriculum and students resulted in comments from exasperated teachers lamenting about "why change [had] to come at the exclusion of 'dead white guy' pieces." In fact, some teachers argued in the comments section that classic literature needed to still be taught because it would-- you guessed it-- help students "feel ready for college." Upon reading that, I learned I had the same question Tennyson had for both those teachers and the teachers who suddenly devoted themselves to anti-racism education but couldn't fathom not teaching their students Hemingway or Austen: "If you are truly trying to become anti-racist but still teaching the old western canon and not diversifying your class reading list, are you truly doing the work of becoming anti-racist?" I imagine the idea that the predominately white literary canon of yore upholds white supremacy and that teachers who continue to teach it to students are unknowingly complicit in upholding white supremacy is a scary thought no teacher wants to face, but if you're a teacher truly committed to becoming and continuing to be an anti-racist, then it's time to start confront those scary thoughts-- including the one about your required reading list containing pieces that uphold white supremacy without you even knowing it. No one is going to judge you; we're all learning about how deep systemic racism is embedded into various institutions in society-- including the school system-- and it's not too late to make changes. There are so many resources available for teachers to find works written by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) authors, so there's no way for educators to blame a lack of diversity in their reading list on the lack of diverse books out there; trust me, there's plenty available--and there you can find them on sites out that sell said books at affordable prices that aren't Amazon. But for the teachers lamenting over how these changes must come at the expense of TKAM and Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter notorious for its repeated use of the N-word, I'd argue that, if you're going to keep those texts on the list, there's no reason to shy away from engaging with works centered on race written by white authors in more thoughtful ways, from challenging ideas and concepts concerning race to critiquing the book overall instead of teaching students to only praise it. I'd be more concerned if teachers and students chose to avoid having a safe and productive dialogue about how race, racism, and white supremacy overlap in and influence the classical literary canon altogether instead of learning how to have these kinds of conversations, which is almost always a messy and evolving process. On the same token, I imagine that there are some students who are unsure about engaging in a conversation about race in the classroom, and I think having more diverse texts in the curriculum could serve as a means to break down that barrier. Introducing a variety of perspectives on universal cornerstones of the human condition, such as love, family, friendship, and growing up, could give students the opportunity to read about how these universal experiences can be simultaneously familiar and different; diverse texts can help students be more engaged with both the reading and with their fellow classmates. Moreover, diverse texts can likely give students of color, who are often underrepresented and "other-ized" in classic literature, more reason to be engaged with both the text and class discussions. Today's modern literary market now offers teens and young adults a variety of diverse books written by BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and disabled authors providing their specific perspectives-- some of which readers can identify with. Of course, it is important to have students engage with some of today's pressing topics via anti-racism-focused books in the English and Literature class syllabus, but it's also equally important to introduce books that are not just solely focused on Black trauma and pain, Latinx immigrant stories, LGBTQ+ coming-out stories, and etc. As Tennyson notes in her essay, if teachers only focus on those stories, they're capable of doing more harm than good. "While those stories are valid, create empathy, and teach us about life," Tennyson writes, "what happens is that those are the only stories about a group that gets told and not the true, rich, diverse lives within a culture." In other words, in order to expand the reading list, teachers should know that the word "diverse" isn't just limited to classic and modern authors; it also applies to the stories they tell. By teaching students that Latinx stories shouldn't just be limited to the immigrant experience or that Black stories shouldn't just be limited to the generational trauma of racism via books that go beyond those wheelhouses, teachers can open students up to the fact that stories about marginalized communities can be just as rich, unique, and diverse as the authors who pen them. Right now, we're all in the process of educating ourselves on the roots and continued persistence of systemic racism in America. On top of that, we're trying to figure out ways to continue showing up for BLM and other grassroots organizers devoted to substantial criminal justice reform and permanent actions to combat systemic racism and inequality long after the news coverage of protests slow down, the hashtags stop trending all over social media, and the Internet runs out of either petitions or anti-racist reading material to share. That also includes school administrators, districts, and boards, who have pledged to make many changes that fit this current moment. But regardless of what they have pledged, students and alumni are working to hold them accountable and ensure that the much-needed work gets done. Schools and teachers can say they're working hard to introduce diverse, anti-racist text into the curriculum as the first step toward creating unique learning experiences, but it's students-- such as myself--who are giving them the extra push. It's time we challenge ourselves to not only get educated but to apply the knowledge we gain to create concrete, sustainable changes that can hopefully lead to the permanent dismantling of systemic inequality in America. But, if the classroom is the typically agreed-upon place for education, then why make it off-limits? To learn more about their mission and sign the petition in your state, visit www.diversifyournarrative.com. Their website has action guides, various templates for e-mails and petitions, sample school curriculum guides, and information about how you can get involved in the push for more diverse, anti-racist literature in English and Literature classes throughout the US public school system. |
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Welcome to the mothership and prepare to go on a fantastic voyage through the Blerd space-time continnum! I'm Makayla; it's nice to meet you! Pronouns are they/she. Archives
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